A way to reduce anxiety is to create an environment to help partners feel comfortable, relaxed and focused on the giving and receiving of pleasure
The act of preparing the home with the intention of having great sex should become a sort of ritual and will be incredibly effective in reducing anxiety, boosting the partner’s level of comfort and setting up for a mutually satisfying experience. Here are 8 things that everyone should learn, backed up by medical research, of course.
8 WAYS TO OPTIMIZE YOUR HOME FOR GREAT SEX
1. SEXY LIGHTING IS KEY
Virtually everyone looks and feels better in diffused, soft light that’s not coming from directly overhead. This sort of light will make you both feel more confident in your appearance and at ease and, according to study from 2010, boost your date’s chances of a leaving your place feeling sexually satisfied. Researchers found that female participants’ sexual satisfaction was “predicted by high body esteem and low frequency of appearance-based distracting thoughts during sexual activity.”
Lamps and wall sconces are your friends here, but if you really want to step up your game you may want to check out some of the smart light bulbs on the market. These bulbs let you change the color, warmth and intensity from your smartphone or tablet. You can go from the ambience of the DMV to a New Orleans bordello with the swipe of a finger.
2. SEDUCE WITH SCENTS
In research at the Chicago-based Smell & Taste Treatment and Research Foundation, neurological director Dr. Alan Hirsch discovered that certain scents trigger sexual arousal in men and women. In women, he discovered that the combination of licorice and cucumber increased female arousal an average of 13 percent, as did the scent of baby powder.
The scent of licorice, cucumber, lavender, baby powder, and yes—pumpkin increase female arousal
Licorice and a banana nut bread mixture increased female arousal an average of 12 percent while a combo of pumpkin and lavender combination increased female arousal an average of 11 percent. If you’re hoping for things to get hot and heavy on your date, a combination of cucumber hand wash, licorice scented candle, lavender room spray could subtly increase her excitement for playtime.
3. MUSIC IS YOUR WINGMAN
Once you’ve appealed to your visitor’s eyes and nose, it’s time to think about the soundtrack of your date. A survey found that that men are quite willing to adjust their tastes in music in order to ensure greater success in the bedroom. The study, authored by a music psychologist, had respondents saying music playing in the background is 40% more likely to turn them on than the touch or feel of their partner.
Creating your own seductive playlist can be fun, but if you don’t have the time, streaming services can create radio stations for you based on an artist, genre, song or mood you like.
4. ELIMINATE DISTRACTIONS
A stale smell, a messy room, a jarring soundtrack, an unflattering lighting scheme, seemingly endless notification chimes from your phone. These things are all sexual distractions. If things get heated, you want to mitigate the number of things that might pull you and your date out of the moment. And it’s not just about personal preference or being a “clean person.”
Studies have shown that cognitive distraction is like a cold shower when it comes to sexual arousal. It may sound like common sense, but if you don’t want to ruin the mood, you have to remove potential distractions. Tidy your home, put fresh sheets on the bed (you’re better than that, guys), and silence anything that’s likely to buzz or chime.
5. MIX IT UP (BEHIND THE BAR)
In a survey, researchers found that 93 percent of respondents said they’re impressed by people who know how to make a good cocktail, and 70 percent said they would date a professional mixologist. Granted that data comes from a survey created by a liquor brand, but still. Numbers like that are hard to ignore.
Create some space for a bar in your living room so that you can continue your flirty conversation and show off your impressive mixology skills at the same time. It’s good to know how to make a handful of vodka, gin, bourbon and tequila-based cocktails and have all the ice, liquors, mixers and garnishes at the ready to make any of them. Get yourself some rocks glasses, martini glasses, cocktail shaker, jigger, tongs, stirrer and cocktail picks. You can snag everything you need online for a few bucks (ok, more like $100, but it’s an investment).
You won’t want to consume too much of course as alcohol can bedevil your sexual form and function. Quality over quantity is key here.
6. PREEMPT YOUR PARTNER’S NEEDS AND WANTS
According to an author and dating consultant, people are likely to respond favorably to partners who have thought ahead and considered what a guest may want or need during their visit. “This shows thoughtfulness which is a very attractive quality,” she says. “And knowing that you can brush your teeth in the morning makes spending the night seem like a much better idea.”
Thoughtfulness is an aphrodisiac
Along with a new toothbrush, ensure that your bathroom is stocked with quality gender neutral products. At some point, your date my want to take a shower. Make sure you have several white, fluffy towels and washcloths ready for them to use. Stock your kitchen with plenty of high quality sweet and savory snacks. Again, no need to go crazy. Just have some hummus and pre cut veggies ready to go along with cheese, crackers, olives, and a bar of high quality dark chocolate. Have some coffee, tea and juice available for the morning along with some ready-to-go breakfast food like Greek yogurt, granola, fresh fruit, English muffins, butter, jam Nutella, etc. No biggie.
7. COLOR THEM IMPRESSED
It turns out that color can have a significant effect on people’s state of mind. According to a 2010 study from from the University of Amsterdam, red is the color that women find most sexually attractive on men. Sadly, the study found that it wasn’t a two-way street (men in the study didn’t react in any way to women in red).
Studies show that women find the color red sexually attractive
If you’re breaking open the red paint to create an accent wall in your boudoir, consider the results of a particular survey. They found that people with bedrooms painted purple had the most sex. The same survey that people with silk sheets tend to spend an inordinate amount of time having fun between them.
8. HAVE SEX ACCOUTREMENTS HANDY
“When condoms are within easy reach, you’ll be more likely to use them and your partner will be grateful that you’re being smart and considering their well-being and your own,” says a New York City sexologist. “Your move: in the nightstand, in easy reach of the bed, have an attractive box or other type of container full of condoms.”
Be reminded that many people have allergies to latex so make sure that you have a selection including polyurethane or polyisoprene products. If your date is a guy, it’s a smart move to have a variety of sizes and shapes at the ready too. Levine also recommends having a vagina friendly, water-based lube. Tissues or a wash cloth for easy and efficient clean up are welcome bedroom accouterments as is having clean t-shirt for them to sleep in ready to go.
HOW TO OPTIMIZE YOUR HOME FOR GREAT SEX
Regardless of which tips you choose to use when it comes to your bedroom (or kitchen or living room floor), the key to having better sex is simply caring about it enough to do something about it. The fact that you just read this whole article means you’ve got what it takes to be a considerate, thoughtful lover that’s willing to go the extra mile for your partner’s pleasure. And that’s sexy as hell.
This information is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. It should never be relied upon for specific medical advice. If you have any questions or concerns, please talk to your doctor.